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| Welcome to my bunker! By Steve Glenn I have spent years amassing the wealth of cool shit in my bunker. Being a future-revolutionary I have to maintain a bunch of quality stuff so that in the next big war I don't get caught with my pants down. One of my favorite possessions is a 3/4" UMatic Video Camera. My cousin passed it to me after he choked on a gizzard and died at the Spring Chicken Affiar of '81, which was all caught on tape... what a retard. My pristine Texas Instruments TV Computer Rocks!. I did the titling for the show on this machine. I have some totally intense games for it too, like "Hunt The Wumpus", "Mountaineer", and "Golf." There's also a crazy trivia game that has really funny questions and if you win amonkey does a silly dance to a very nice song. His banana is really three yellow rectangles, but you don't notice cause its so fuckin' kewl. Another classic item is my 1983 edition Daisy® Crossbow with eight steel-tipped shafts. She shoots like and angel, and her bolts ride the wind like a cherokee squaw on a midnight bronco. I bought this for my self at the K-Mart for a camping trip and had the name "Chilly Tiger" engraved on the plastic near the trigger. I scared the caca out of a park ranger that weekend. Ahh my glorious customized 1979 Chevy Van Dura. In high school, she was fully loaded with a fold-out bed, sink, full bar, track lighting, 8-track, venutian blinds, color TV, and Intelivision System III console. Many a slut did I lay upon the bristly, powder-blue shag of the Pussy Wagon®. After graduation I got serious and rigged her up with some reel-to-reels, turn tables, a PLL controller, an RF power transistor, a 15 Watt Transmitter, a24 BGY33 Based Unit, 5 lead acid batteries, and a 10 ft. military surplus field antenna. Add that plus an assload ofnew wave albums and the defiant screech of my banshee-like voice of reason and you've got fully mobile, high-powered AM-side-band-broadcasting menace ready to buttfuck the FCC all the way to Washington! Need I mention why a Camaro is a kewl thing to own? Let me know after you've tapped a pony keg and schlinked a rad BJ as the rays of a silver moon splay yellow goodness through the t-top across a pleather backseat. Some fat tube-topped slut drinks a fresca and pets your puppy while Billy Squire cranks axe on a new pioneer dynamic cassette system. You'll thank the good god above you ain't in a pussy-ass Trans-Am. An Albino Rattlesnake lives underneath in under the cam shaft in my van. What a fuckup. Too bad some animals are just too kewl to kill. Martial arts are very important to me. Also known as "shurkin", Japanese Throwing Stars are very difficult to master. But I got the bullies beat, cause I own a book called "Secrets of the Ninja" by Ashida Kim and I learned the Tonki no Kata, or for the laydewd, the "9 ways of throwing small weapons." Touch my van and I'll hit you with a Tonky-Link-Dong you're not likely to forget! Designed for use in situations where there is high background noise levels, such as in trucks. This mic is used in public service agencies, such as fire departments, all around the US of A. The 636L Road Devil has a rugged ABS housing, polyurethane coated steel grille, and a dependable low impedance dynamic element. The Road Devil is an amplified noise canceling mic for close talking, hand held applications in CB, Amateur Radio, and SSB communications. It features a high gain amplifier with electronic equalization to provide maximum talk power and intelligibility even under noisy conditions. So shut the fuck up. |
Video Camera Computer  Crossbow  Van  Camaro  Albino Rattlesnake  Throwing Stars  636L Road Devil  |