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Journey... By Steve Glenn Our magical journey took us on an American southwest tour through some of the most kick butt landscapes and back roads. We kicked it off in my old town, Austin, Texas. Austin has a lot of things going for it including some horribly tribal radio frequencies. Independent stations pop up all the time and the FCC squashes 'em one by one. Pisses me off. Austin's also the home of two of my favorite movies of all times, Fandango with Kevin Costner and the birthplace of Tobe Hooper, the guy who came up with that crazy Texas Chainsaw Massacre shit. Marfa, Texas is a freaky ass place. We were there for about four days and got pulled over by the local fuzz about 5 times. This fucked up artist named Donald Judd created all these metal boxes he calls minimal art. Maximum crap is more like it. When are these ninny, rich morons gonna figure out that normal people could give a rat's balls about their stupid "conceptual" vision! The only art in my house is a bronze cowboy on a mule. Then we hit the big bendover of Big Bend, Texas. That place is eff'n gorgeous. These skunks chased Dirk all over the place cause he was farting from the bologna sandwiches we'd eaten for breakfast. Those guys are terrifying when they're on the scent. Big Bend is really kewl... we got some rockin' images of clouds. Let me tell you about White Sands, New Mexico. My eyes burnt out so bad. Thank god I had neck protection. We ran into a little trouble with a park ranger cause of all the beer cans we ditched in the parking lot. Sheena looked like a total dick nose with her goggles, but I have to say that was the coolest she acted towards me the whole trip. Lobos Muertos, New Mexico was definitely a low point. Sheena and I picked up a preppy faggot called "Christian" who wanted us to drop him off at a Buddhist Compound where his girlfriend was or something. Next thing I know Sheena ditches me and I'm yankin' solo for the next 900 miles. I made a major personal breakthrough at the Grand Canyon in Arizona. It cut like a knife. The land there is so beautiful... so marked by time, creating the wondrous visual tapestry, a metaphorical tableux of life itself. I took the longest piss there in front of a busload of fourth graders. That was really fucking funny! More art, I guess, at Black Rock Desert, Nevada. We were out there trying to shoot this risky car scene and discovered this huge group of desert urchins trying to live a life away from the FCC. If there's one thing I could recommend for my fellow man it's to spend a few days out in the wilderness without your clothes (except for a pair of sweet, sweet Teva's®). You'll do weird things... hell, I learned how to breakdance! Los Angeles, California... my destination, my dream. A silicone-enhanced bombshell bleached wasteland with more lying, cheating, scheming sons of bitches than a suburban PTA meeting. Home of the Music Video Network. I'm glad those bastards only lasted 7 months on the air. My future was LA, or so I thought. |
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